Step 1: Become a Crypto Sherlock Forget moon missions - real crypto pros hunt for exchanges like detectives! My INTJ brain approves this Feixiaohao-powered due diligence checklist (with extra paranoia seasoning).

VPN Houdini Moves Geo-blocked? Just casually teleport between countries like a digital nomad. ExpressVPN: your new Swiss bank account (but actually legal).

Final Pro Tip If an exchange promises “1000% APY with zero risk”… run faster than Bitcoin during a bull market!

How many fake exchanges have YOU spotted this week? 👀

When Your Ex (Bitcoin) Gets Banned But You Still Want the Tech

As a quant who’s coded more blockchain models than I’ve had hot coffees, China’s Five-Year Plan is peak ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ energy. Ban crypto? Sure. But build state-run blockchain infrastructure? Genius move!

The Ultimate GDP Hack Their plan to make digital industries contribute 20% to GDP by 2025 is like watching someone use cheat codes in SimCity. My Python backtests show enterprise adoption could triple - if you don’t mind all nodes bowing to CCP servers.

Pro tip: Watch Huawei’s patents like they’re new episodes of your favorite dystopian series.

Drops mic Thoughts? Or should I go back to my spreadsheets? 😎